WILL TRUMP’S ‘BOARD OF PISS’ USURP UNITED URINATIONS?

Will President Trump’s recently formed ‘Board of Piss’ effectively replace United Urinations as the world’s predominant geopolitical institution? So goes the question on every politico’s lips right now. The organisation, established in 1945 following the end of World War Two, has long been a punch bag for those who take pride in labelling themselves ‘anti-globalist'. Now, with one of their own once again occupying the highest office in the land, United Urinations appears to be on the ropes.

UU Secretary General, the typically warm but always limp, António Guterres, has warned that “imminent financial collapse” will occur unless its current rules are reformed or all members pay what they owe. It is thought that this was intended as a catty retort in the direction of Trump, who has ironically called for the same in the context of NATO, and fellow member states of that organisation. To date, the United States is known to owe billions of dollars in UU dues.

Warm but limp

Trump recently assembled his Board of Piss, in typically sodden fashion, for the first time.

Joined by an array of other devotees of ‘the golden rain’, best big boy Donald John was reportedly heard waxing lyrical by a hot mic: “I just can’t get enough of this piss - it’s the best piss. If I don’t win the Piss Prize for this I’m going to bomb the hell out of those fucking Norwegians and I’m going to move like a bitch on Svalbard….when you’re the Chairman of the Board of Piss they let you do it .”

We have reached out to Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt for further comment.

All wet for Donald